Under Construction

My soul was knocking
at the door of my mouth
asking me to seek

Mouth stayed shut
so the lump grew
a thick tangled mess

Words bubbled up
but were locked
in their chains

She fastens her cape
and picks the lock
jumps into the stream

Unchartered waters
Unacknowledged rage
Uncried eyes

Who knew
that the little one
was smarter than me

Holding hands
in the darkness
she leads me

Mysterious angels
whisper, giggle
a second chance

Who knew
that the little one
could finally be

She’s me.


The Cockroach

Copyright © 2019 Kissing The Cockroach® All Rights Reserved.

~ by Kissing The Cockroach® on January 11, 2018.

12 Responses to “Under Construction”

  1. Hey you! AWESOME poem … scream it, tame it, spew it … let it go! All good. HEY, i loved the comment you wrote about what your ED did for you: Your anti-rant to my rant on “furious with bulimia”.
    Can i post it with full credit, etc????? I may include it in some other sh** i’m writing OR i could just post it as the FLIPSIDE of that nasty ED and how it kept me from slitting my wrists. I would be thrilled if you’d agree. But, if you don’t agree. … i get it. Peace and love, xxxxxxto TC

    • Of course! And PHEW….I kind of worried you might get annoyed with my grass is greener ramblings! But it is so important to remind ourselves that it got us HERE right now.

      • You know … i didn’t really take it like “grass is greener”. I took it as, “Yeah, i would have sliced my arms wide open if i didn’t have a nummer”. TRUE! The rant was kind of two-fold anyway. It was also about the outside world and my dealing with how others interpret my “situation” and how other people in my situation have to deal with not being validated for the shit they went through. Yep, could have gone down the drugs and drunk path, but didn’t. Well, that’s good. Troubles are troubles. They’re all relative. We get where we get how we get there … regardless of grass, right? Green, or dead. Dead wouldn’t work. And, i can’t say i’m Joyful for having had bulimia for so long. NO, i wouldn’t say that at all. But i don’t anymore … at least i’m not struggling with it now … so i ocassionally have a little cow-rant … and i feel better, and i find some new “footing” or grounding, and i feel open to others’ points of view. ESPECIALLY YOURS since you had a couple of decades with the bitch Bulimia. It’s over, but it’s never over.

      • Yes, that BEYATCH! I now see how alcohol and bulimia went hand in hand for me. Self preservation. We’d both be stitching our wrists together without the numbers. Ha! Numbers. Let us not forget OCD. That one worked for a while and still pokes it’s head out of the hole to remind me where I’ve been.

      • Yea, throw in some PTSDC and voila, freakin pool of poo! So be it. I just need to get the UGLY out sometimes … I can’t live there, right? If i do, i’m “in it”. ANYWAY … just another day in the life … 😉

        SO, now that i’ve asked if i can post your opinion … i hope i can get to it. Lots to do with dear old dad. He’s movin’ out of one home to another home in another state. BIIIIZZZZZY.

      • Yep….always gotta get IT out!!!

        Good luck with everything…breathe…spew (verbally)….breathe again…..

      • I’m getting a lot of catharsis from our chat … but i’ll go now. When you feel like it … hook me up to one of your posts that explains YOU. I need to know you! I think you’re fascinating cockroach. Bravo for you!

      • I’ll be there when you least expect it….flip! xoxoox

      • and i’ll be laying on my back with my little legs swinging in the air, kicking and screaming, or i may JUST have a day of serenity. Who knows? It’ll be a surprise, it always is …

      • Congrats for making me live the letters…Laughed Out Loud…. 😀

      • A laugh: it is GOOD! buggy, lady, mel

  2. How will i know what you say if i don’t “check” the box. aaaaaa

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